Tag Archives: DL Foster

#TherapyEquality Comes to Massachusetts, Gay Activists Getting Desperate

In a February 16, 2014 article titled: “More States Likely to Ban Sexual Orientation Change Therapy,” Washington Times reporter Cheryl Wetzstein quoted anti-ex-gay extremist Wayne Besen as saying the following:

“The bans on sexual-orientation change efforts are likely to follow the path of marriage equality, with Maryland and Massachusetts the most likely states to approve bills this year.”

But that ban in Maryland didn’t happen, and on July 31, 2014 the legislative session in Massachusetts ended for the year, and with it died another bill that would ban therapy for minors with unwanted same-sex attractions (SSA) who seek help from licensed mental health practitioners to reduce and eliminate unwanted homosexual feelings.

H3907, titled “An Act relative to abusive practices to change sexual orientation and gender identity in minors” was authored and sponsored by openly gay Rep. Carl Sciortino, who this year announced that he had contracted HIV and subsequently left his seat in the legislature.

After legislation to ban therapy for minors in California and New Jersey became law in 2013, gay activists just assumed other states would follow. But thanks to the hard work of ex-gays and their allies, both locally and nationally, the #TherapyEquality campaign by Voice of the Voiceless, Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays, and Equality And Justice For All, has been working!

While “marriage equality” is becoming a reality in more states, “therapy equality” for individuals with unwanted SSA is also gaining traction, even in the most liberal of states like Minnesota, Illinois, Maryland, and Massachusetts. Why? Because lawmakers are hearing, and listening, to the stories of many who testified that therapy saved their lives. But you won’t hear their stories in Time Magazine, who gives free publicity to anti-ex-gay activists.

Stories like Charles Peters, who was molested by his gay boy scoutmaster when he was a child and struggled with sexual confusion and the effects of trauma for many years. But with the assistance of licensed therapists who helped him heal those wounds, he has resolved that trauma is now free to pursue his dream of family and marriage to a woman.

Robin Goodspeed also has an amazing story, but you won’t hear it on CNN, and Oprah won’t give her a sit down interview. She was told year after year by gay-affirming therapists that she was “born gay” and should just accept it. She struggled for years with the underlying issues, depression, and anguish that was causing her homosexuality, unable to find a therapist who could really help her. She lived for many years as a lesbian with a partner until she could no longer deal with the incongruence of who she really was – a daughter of God, born a female, not born a lesbian.

But now, gay activists are getting desperate. They can’t seem to convince legislators that states should promote “marriage equality” for gay-identified individuals, while at the same time deny #TherapyEquality for those who do not believe they are born gay and seek to resolve the issues that lead to their unwanted homosexual feelings. That’s because it doesn’t make sense. You can’t demand equality for some homosexuals while denying the rights of other same-sex attracted individuals to leave a lifestyle they find unfulfilling.

Their latest campaign, #BornPerfect is an effort to recycle the defunct, archaic theory that people are born gay in order to end what they call “conversion therapy” for youth. The spokespeople for their cause, to end licensed therapy, are a small group of former religious ex-gay leaders, who never went through therapy and instead tried to “pray away the gay,” which surprisingly didn’t work!

Because of their own failed efforts, these individuals, like former Exodus International President Alan Chambers, are projecting their failure onto everyone else. After all, if they didn’t change, how could anyone else possible do it?

So they’re teaming up with the National Center for Lesbian Rights in their crusade against licensed mental health therapy, which they never received themselves, nor did any of them ever practice! They got some free publicity from BuzzFeed today:

“At one time, we were not only deeply involved in these ‘ex-gay’ programs, we were the founders, the leaders, and the promoters,” they said in the letter. “Together we represent more than half a century of experience, so few people are more knowledgeable about the ineffectiveness and harm of conversion therapy. We know first-hand the terrible emotional and spiritual damage it can cause, especially for LGBT youth.”

Again, it’s important to reiterate who these people are. They are not licensed therapists or scientists. Among others, they are Michael Bussee (Co-Founder of Exodus International), John Smid (Executive Director of Love in Action), and Yvette Cantu Schneider, who once made behavioral decisions to leave homosexuality, but never went through therapy.

Schneider recently partnered with the Gay and Lesbian Alliance for Defamation (GLAAD) to say she no longer supports the ex-gay movement, although she is, ironically, still faithfully married to her husband, who she claims is her soul mate, despite her same-sex attractions. She was a long-time poster girl for ex-lesbians at some prominent pro-family organizations, struggled with untreated anxiety, the roots of which are often trauma-related, for years. She labored on campaigns such as Proposition 8 to deny gay marriage in California, but never dealt with the underlying trauma that was causing her anxiety.

Just this week, she revealed that years later she received some new age therapy that reawakened some of the “feminine goddesses” she was repressing, and wham, she’s back to her authentic self and completely happy, and still married to her husband, yet she claims she hasn’t “changed.” Now she joins the ranks of ex-ex-gays like John Paulk, who appeared on the cover of Time Magazine in the late 90s as a success story for change, but now is recanting. Like Schneider, Paulk never went through therapy and did his work.

When a same-sex attracted person fails to resolve the underlying issues that cause homosexual feelings, the desires often remain and fester for years. In my personal and professional experience, real, transforming change occurs when one heals the wounds at the core, through good therapy, the support of committed friendships, and the love of God.

You see, when one looks a little deeper into stories like Yvette Schneider, John Paulk, Alan Chambers, and others who say they changed, then later recant and say they didn’t really didn’t change, you find a typical character flaw. Narcissism.

I know this well, because I too once struggled with same-sex attractions, and by the grace of God and thanks to some good therapy, I have resolved the issues that caused me to feel homosexual attractions.

Narcissism is a personality disorder and character defect that all of these individuals, and many of my same-sex attracted clients (including myself, at one point) struggle with at some point in their lives. The roots of this disorder are usually deep wounding, sometimes from an insufficient emotional connection with a parent(s), other times with peers, growing up. It has nothing to do with homosexual feelings, and everything to do with unresolved hurt.

When a child doesn’t get the praise and affirmation of those closest around him/her, they grow up with a deep hole in their soul, and the only way to fill that hole is through attention, affection, and affirmation. One can achieve this in a healthy way, by healing the wounds, forming loving attachments in present day, and asking God to remove these character defects.

But too many public ex-gays fail to do this, and end up settling for imitation love while at the same time, suffering with addictions and emotional disorders, all the while experiencing the notoriety of the spot light, without the intimacy of loving relationships. This occurs in many of the ex-gay marriages that do not work out – they mean well, but they are often too wounded and end in divorce. Then, they recant and say, “my homosexuality never changed” – as if the same-sex attraction was the result of their failed marriage.

Any good therapist knows this is a cop out, because sex is not about sex. It’s about intimacy, attachment, and bonding. That’s what really makes a relationship successful and committed.

So what drives these nine former ex-gay poster boys and girls to come out and say, “we never really changed?” Unfortunately, the same thing that drove them to say they did change years ago. Being in the public spot light and doing something “good for God” is a great way to deflect from one’s personal, unresolved issues. But one can only maintain it for so long until the house crumbles. If you don’t do your work, resolve the issues that lead to same-sex attractions, and remain faithful to what God has called you to do, you will eventually collapse.

Psychologically speaking, it’s too painful for these nine individuals to admit “they didn’t do their work,” so it’s easier for them to point the finger at those who have while projecting their own failures onto everyone else.

Do not be fooled. God uses people to achieve His plans. Licensed therapists, unlicensed religious counselors, and everyday people, to help us heal. Hundreds of these religious leaders, such as Anne Paulk, Steven Black, DL Foster, and Tom Cole, to name just a few, have done their work and continue to walk in freedom. That is the power of God. He uses everyone for His plan, and he doesn’t favor one specific type of therapy or ministry over another. Our God is much bigger than that.

The truth is, we’re all born perfect, perfectly in the eyes of our Creator, who loves and wants the best for us. But it doesn’t mean that anyone is born gay. We don’t need a fancy hash tag on Twitter to realize that. What we do need is a good old-fashioned reality check. He created them male and female. This article was originally published on August 2, 2014 at: http://barbwire.com/2014/08/02/0900-therapyequality-comes-massachusetts-gay-activists-getting-desperate/


Why Texas Matters: Affirming Therapy Equality a necessary protection for EXLGBT Americans

Texas Resolution

The fight for therapy equality and affirming equal access to counseling options in Texas is no longer just a dream thanks to the courageous actions of the Texas Republican Party. As a native Texan and a 24 year EXLGBT American, Im elated to write about it.

Johnathan Saenz of Texas Values Action told KERA News, “Texas Republicans want to make clear: If a parent wants to take their child and have a discussion with a counselor about their questions about sexuality, they should have the freedom to do that.”

The resolution reads in part:
“…we oppose any criminal or civil penalties against those who oppose homosexuality out of faith, conviction, or belief in traditional values. We recognize the legitimacy and value of counseling which offers reparative therapy and treatment to patients who are seeking escape from the homosexual lifestyle…”

Bucking the trend to punish citizens who seek counseling for unwanted same sex attractions —and the professionals who want to help them— the Texas GOP took an unusual step and voted to affirm therapy equality. The move would have made African American Texas GOP pioneer Norris Wright Cuney (1846-1898) proud. When Cuney and other African Americans were building the party in Texas, passion to build a better social and economic future for African Americans was the catalyst that birthed their innovative drive. At that time, there existed no promises of “affirmative action” to lull them into complacency. What they did face was the consistent attacks of the Democrat-led Klan who conspired at every turn to block access to the well being of black American citizens.

There was strong and widespread support for passage of the resolution among Texas conservatives, perhaps fed up with the anti-American actions of liberals who continue to deny rights and suppress hope for potential millions of Americans seeking avenues to change sexual and emotional dysfunctions. Rape, molestation and sexual abuse have been at the root of much sexual confusion. The New Jersey legislation was dubbed the “Jerry Sandusky Victimization Act”, because opponents contended it would prevent victims of abuse and molestation who subsequently developed homosexual inclinations, from getting much needed counseling.

Equality Matters

Much of the therapy discrimination is based on nonscientific political posturing. To date, there has been no recognizable scientific evidence or research demonstrating that therapy (or ministry) to individuals seeking change from homosexuality is harmful or ineffective.

American citizens who seek therapy and ministry options to help them live out their identity has been under attack. In California and New Jersey, unnecessarily punitive laws have been passed depriving hurting parents of the opportunity to help their OWN children get professional counseling to overcome unwanted same gender sexual desires. In nine other states, serious attempts have been made to deprive tax-paying Americans of the freedom to seek ssa counseling.

The driving force behind this historic move was Jeremy Schwab of Dallas, himself a beneficiary of therapy and counseling. He’s taken a more proactive, positive role in fighting discrimination against EXLGBT Americans.

Schwab found that necessity was the mother of activism.

“Activists have drafted a bill to be introduced in all 50 states which will ban or severely restrict access to Reparative Therapy and all other SOCE (Sexual Orientation Change Efforts) including religious counseling. A similar bill is currently under review in the British Parliament which goes much further,” he said.

Said Schwab, “After California and New Jersey passed these laws last year, I began reaching out to Republican State Legislators and State Senators to discuss the law. In Washington State, the bill flew through their House without any opposition from Republicans, but once we talked with the GOP state senators and they came to understand the full story, they stood up and blocked this awful bill. The same has been the case now for eleven other states.

In each case, it took significant efforts to educate GOP legislators and rally grassroots support before their GOP lawmakers realized the importance of this issue to religious freedom. Since this bill is being introduced in all 50 states, it is a critical and unique addition to the State GOP which is not fully covered by the current language.”

That’s why what happened in Texas matters. State legislatures must understand that its immoral to enshrine into law deprivation of therapy equality. No American should have to go day after day tortured and suicidal because he or she has been told there are no options and no choices for them. LGBT Americans have the freedom to seek counseling to affirm their homosexual behavior and its big business. The San Francisco based Gaylesta, a “GLBTQ Psychotherapy Association” lists some 250 mental health professionals available to homosexuals. Why are EXGLBT Americans treated differently? Why give some unlimited options for personal happiness but deprive others of even one hopeful avenue of change? Why is the fate of their happiness and the happiness of their families placed in the hands of people who despise them? Aren’t all Americans guaranteed the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?

This isn’t empty complaining, but the stark reality that in America homosexual activists are pursuing legal tools to punish people who simply want freedom from a crippling sexual and emotional condition.

Pastor Darryl L. (DL) Foster is the Co-Founder of Voice of the Voiceless and an ordained minister, husband, father, and self-described abolitionist pastor. In 1990, he left homosexuality to follow Christ and subsequently founded Witness Ministries, Inc. a prominent Christian outreach focused on helping people of color gain their freedom in Christ. In 2010, he also founded and organized the Overcomers Network, an Atlanta based EXGLBT empowerment organization with chapters in 18 US cities.